Can we try and keep the dumbfuckery to a minimum today please, vintage plate with stand

“Can We Try and Keep the Dumbfuckery to a Minimum Today Please” Vintage Plate

Consider this your daily PSA in porcelain form. Tired of people showing up in your life armed with zero brain cells, an unsolicited opinion, and a talent for chaos? Let this 16cm decorative plate do the soul-crushing work of reminding everyone that today — just for once — you’d like to experience the minimum legally allowable amount of idiocy.

Display it proudly on your desk, mantle, or right next to the coffee machine at work, so Karen from Accounting knows her “devil’s advocate” routine is not welcome here. Comes with a free plate stand, because you shouldn’t have to put in more effort when you’re already dealing with a world that thinks critical thinking is a conspiracy theory.

This is a purely decorative plate — obviously. Do not eat off it. Do not microwave it. And for the love of your last shred of patience, do not shove it in the dishwasher. It wants a gentle hand-wash, just like your psyche does after being exposed to the daily circus of dumbfuckery outside your door.

Vintage means this plate has already seen some things. It’s survived decades of questionable life choices, passive-aggressive small talk, and the general decline of civilisation — so yes, it may have some fading or marks, just like you do. Consider it a badge of honour.

Minimum dumbfuckery. Maximum honesty. Zero regrets.