What doesn't kill you gives you an unhealthy set of coping mechanisms and a dark sense of humour, vintage plate with stand

“What Doesn’t Kill You…” Vintage Plate

Behold this brutally honest 16cm vintage plate — a perfectly dainty vessel for your deep-seated nihilism. It sweetly reminds you (and everyone else brave enough to stand in your living room) that what doesn’t kill you doesn’t make you stronger — it just gives you an impressive buffet of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a pitch-black sense of humour that terrifies your therapist.

Pop this relic of existential truth on its free plate stand (yes, free, because your finances don’t need any more stress) and let it radiate darkly comedic vibes from your bookshelf, mantle, or that weird spot in the hallway where you stand in silence questioning every decision you’ve ever made.

Perfect for family gatherings when Aunt Susan wants to ask why you’re still single, or dinner parties when your ‘well-adjusted’ friends try to trauma-bond over dry wine and awkward small talk. This plate says it all so you don’t have to.

Strictly decorative — it can’t hold your tears, your meds, or your questionable life choices. And absolutely do not stick it in the dishwasher, because it’s fragile, dramatic, and not built for that kind of turbulence. Handwashing only — scrub gently while reflecting on all the times you’ve survived things you probably shouldn’t have.

And remember: this plate is vintage, which means it’s been through its own hell. It’s probably got some fading, maybe a few marks — tiny scars that prove it’s endured, just like you. Wear them like a badge of honour. Display them like a middle finger to the universe.