- Accepts Etsy gift cards
If you can’t be profound, be profane.
A motto for the ages — or at least for those days when your brain cells have abandoned ship and all you’ve got left is a well-placed f-bomb. This gloriously inappropriate nugget of wisdom is delicately emblazoned on a 16cm vintage plate that’s just waiting to scandalise your nan or make your guests question your taste (which is obviously impeccable).
This plate is strictly decorative — your microwave lasagna has not earned the right to touch this masterpiece. It comes with a free plate stand because balancing it on a stack of old bills and regret just didn’t look as classy. Pop it on your shelf, mantel, gallery wall, or anywhere else you feel your home needs an injection of questionable philosophy and mild profanity.
Handwashing only, darling. We both know if you can’t handle life’s deep thoughts, you definitely can’t handle dishwasher safe. Treat this plate like you’d treat a fragile ego: gently, by hand, and maybe with a soft cloth and a muttered curse.
Perfect gift for that sweary friend who loves to pretend they’re deep but really just wants an excuse to drop a few choice expletives over tea. Also great for your own collection if you’re tired of pretending to be inspirational and would rather be honest about your total lack of profundity.
Important bit: This is a genuine vintage plate, which means it’s lived a little — like all the best things in life. Expect a bit of fading, marks, or general signs of age. It’s called character. Just like you.