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✨ Darling, Fetch Me My Bathing Toaster – Vintage Decorative Plate ✨
Ah, domestic bliss. Nothing says I’ve given up in style quite like a delicate vintage plate politely demanding Darling, fetch me my bathing toaster. Yes, that’s right – we’ve distilled years of pent-up existential dread, millennial burnout, and a touch of gallows humour onto a dainty 16cm slice of porcelain perfection.
Lovingly perched on your shelf (or throne of passive aggressive décor), this plate will whisper sweet nothings to your houseplants and your therapist when you’re not looking. It’s the ideal decorative statement for when you’d like to reassure your guests that beneath your dead eyes and Pinterest-perfect scatter cushions lurks a soul that’s just about hanging on by a burnt-out toaster wire.
This 16cm vintage beauty comes complete with its very own FREE plate stand – because obviously you’re not going to eat off this. What do you think this is, the 1950s? No, no – this is purely for decorative self-expression. Or a handy visual threat. Up to you, really.
Please note: handwashing only, darling. Pop this in the dishwasher and you’ll find yourself fetching your own toaster sooner than expected. Treat it gently, whisper sweet affirmations to it, and it’ll reward you by silently judging everyone who walks past.
⚡ Important: This plate is genuinely vintage – it has survived decades of life, possibly an argument or two, and maybe a botched seance. So expect a bit of fading or some wee marks here and there. They’re not flaws – they’re character.
Now, be a dear… and fetch me my bathing toaster.