If at first you don't succeed it's only attempted murder, vintage plate with stand

**"If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder" – Decorative Vintage Plate (16cm)**
*Includes display stand. For legal reasons, decorative only.*

Fancy a splash of felony with your floral china? This 16cm vintage plate is here to remind you that perseverance is key… especially when it comes to eliminating life’s little inconveniences. Hand-selected from the dusty depths of someone’s nan’s glory cabinet, it now carries the kind of motivational quote that gets you put on a watchlist.

Perfect for passive-aggressive kitchen décor, inspirational gallery walls, or just casually threatening your houseplants. Comes with a plate stand so you can prop it up like the unhinged little relic it is—ready to alarm visitors and delight morally bankrupt friends.

Not food safe. Not microwave safe. Not emotionally safe.
Because sometimes, failure is just foreplay. 💅

---

Would you like a slightly darker or more Victorian version as well?